Gaslighting is an abuse technique in which the victim is portrayed as a bad person. For example, if the partner is not giving his wife enough sex, he will make her jealous, tell her she is too sensitive, or say he had to cheat because she is too frigid. The victim might also be told that he's insecure and has no self-esteem.
Gaslighters have many ways to manipulate their partner's emotions. Some are subtle and unconscious, manipulating small details to create an impression that the relationship is healthy. Others overstep their boundaries and offend their partners. Other signs include demeaning their partner's appearance and cultural sensitivities. It can be extremely difficult to detect gaslighting in a relationship, so it's essential to get help early.
One of the most obvious signs of gaslighting in a relationship is the victim's lack of self-confidence. They feel anxious around their partner and feel more confident when they are away from them. They are also rarely honest about their faults and instead blame others or excuse themselves whenever someone criticizes them. Eventually, they decide to leave the relationship and seek help elsewhere. The victim can learn to spot signs of gaslighting by following some of these steps.
If you suspect that you're being gaslighted in your relationship, it's essential to talk to friends and family to get their advice. If you're still unsure, talk to a counselor or a friend about the situation. Remember that you're only human, and that no one is perfect, so it's crucial to make the best decision possible. If you're still unsure, seek help.
You Question Your Feelings
You wonder if you're being overly sensitive or dramatic after a fight with your partner. Your partner ignores your feelings, making you feel as if they are unjustified or as if you are incapable of controlling your emotions. They might tell you to "calm down" or "stop making such a big deal out of things."
You are made to doubt yourself
Your partner tells you that it never happened or that you're recalling things incorrectly. Your partner's perspective of an event differs from yours for some reason, and it makes you wonder how reliable your own recall is or how justified your reaction is. They may say things like "You have selective memory" or that you're "altering the story" and "making things up" for your personal gain.
Over-Apologizing
You start apologizing to your partner or other people unnecessarily, even though you haven't done anything wrong. After any dispute or conflict, you begin to suspect that you are to blame.
You are slowly isolated
Because your friends and family aren't particularly fond of your partner, you feel compelled to protect them. You begin to keep some details about your relationship to yourself and hide information about your partner from the people who matter most to you. You're afraid of exposing the intricacies of your relationship because you know your partner's behavior would be considered as unacceptable.
Overthinking and believing you are going crazy
You're not sure if you're losing your mind or going insane. When you're having a disagreement with your partner, they'll tell you, "It's all in your brain." You don't think you're good enough, or you can't seem to make your relationship work. You believe it's your fault, and that if you pushed harder or performed better, your relationship would be in better shape.
It's time to take a break and relook the direction that your life is heading. Life is not only about relationships. Don't restrict yourself. Some people are emotionally unhealthy to begin with, and you do not have to bear the burden of being their free therapists. Be clear what your boundaries are, which are the essential bedrock to any healthy, long term relationship.